Kachir of Whazzit

Created by Kimira
Image by Gatsby

"Kachir" by Grimm

Kachir, Kachir, burning bright
On this moonless Whazzit night
What peculiar twist of fate
Brought such madness to our plate?

Were you a thing of plastic wild?
The tortured plaything of a child?
From what strange land did you spawn?
Made in China? In Taiwan?

Are you instead a fragrant flower
Plucked from Sultan’s sheltered bower?
Would truly roses smell so sweet
If crushed beneath your hoofless feet?

Do you herald from the skies?
From the great depths did you rise?
Across the seas of endless brine?
It matters not- for you do shine

Kachir, Kachir, burning bright
On this moonless Whazzit night
We care not from where you spawned
So long as we can make that bond.

Singular: Kachir
Plural: Kachir
Group: Friendship of Kachir

General Info: Oh noes. Who dared give the crazy hippie scientist enough power to create something? Well, what is, is. Even if it came about in some arcane lab with a smelly old man hallucinating about tangerine trees and marmalade skies. Though it's quite possible that Kachir actually came about by the mixture of LSD, crack, speed, My Little Ponies, some hippie, a real pony, and a few other obscure ingredients — something has to account for their knowledge, after all, and the flowery colors? — it's just as likely that the rumor is just that and nothing more. As it is, these odd little creatures seem to be a mixture of just what was offered above. They are around the size of a pony, that is 12-14 hands high — or in easier terms anywhere from four to five feet high at the shoulders. Their hide is just that, hide, and is smooth and rubbery, a little disconcerting considering it's tougher than even dragonhide, and springy to the touch. These little hellions sport prodigious manes and tails, great, flowing things that are known to grow an inch a day. Otherwise, they resemble those crazy little My Little Ponies. Just... blown up and LSD'd. Fear.

Kachir are scarily intelligent, for the most part. They are known to brood for hours on things most daren't even consider; "why?" is the question they're most fond of. Most take great pleasure in tormenting those around them who are so sure of themselves and what they know to be true. Why do the moons rise? Why are they always visible? Why — why do we think they'll always be there? Who's to say they will? They will often go days, even weeks without eating, just standing, staring off into space with that distant look on their expressive faces. Gods forbid anybody disturb a particularly strident brooding Kachir, for somewhere in their tumultuous beginnings they gained the ability to spout fire. No, they don't have to chew some silly stone for it. They are born with the knowledge, and it can be an inconvenient factor in their first days when every sneeze or sniffle brings a small tongue of bright flame. It's not uncommon for a Kachir to be unbalanced or a little on the loony side; what do you expect, really? But even then they remain frighteningly smart. It's really best not to enter a duel of wits with a Kachir, because they don't usually lose... and they aren't good winners.

Kachir are highly intelligent and may mindspeak in complete sentences — they are geniuses, by all meanings of the word. However, they are frequently obsessive and occasionally insane.

Mating Info: Humans are discouraged from observing the mating ritual of a Kachir. Actually, it's best not to look at a female Kachir the whole day prior to her chase. She starts to glow like a ball of pure energy, her whole body becoming suffused with a much brighter shade of her original color. It can burn the retinas on first glance, so beware! Unless you're a male Kachir, of course. They can look upon fair lady with unshaded eyes. In fact, they relish the sight of her all shiny and bright. The female eventually troops to somewhere where she has the room to run, and leads whatever males follow on a merry chase. Don't think it's so easy, though! With the chase, which is generally given at a leisurely pace, a lovely game of information swapping transpires. The female will generally pick a subject, and her boys are free to pick up the subject as they will. It can take hours or days, but when the female eventually tires she'll usually use a combination of things to pick her mate — you know, strength, speed, intelligence.

Bonding Info: Kachir are born live, no larger than a foot tall all told. Queen Kachir can give birth to a surprising amount of the tiny creatures, as most don't get any larger than eight or nine inches tall before they're born. Female Kachir have no mammary glands, thus they cannot feed their young. As soon as the foals have gotten their bearings and are able to get up and around, their mother's bond will be asked to gather people to come attempt to bond her children. There are no wild juvenile Kachir for this reason; if a female somehow loses her bond she will forsake bearing foals to spare them from starving. Even at birth, the foals are highly intelligent. Though wisdom will come in time, they are curious from the very moment their eyes open. They will accept food and companionship from just about anybody willing to offer it; they aren't picky, really. The young will need to be fed vitamin-enriched milk, of any sort really, for the first few months of their life. Their teeth will grow in eventually, and then they can feed themselves. Most learn to relish the hours they can spend with their inquisitive new friend, caring for him or her.


Nobility defined, Hyacinths are, and always will be, true Queens. They are regal and sincere, hold themselves with unerring grace, and could probably charm the wings off of a dragon if they really felt like it. Their personalities vary between all sorts of traits, as all do — friendly, haughty, silly — but no Hyacinth will ever waver from the path of nobility, of her duty to her race. She knows it well and she never forgets, will never put herself before another Kachir or her bonded. She is smaller than the males of her race, but a little larger than the other females. Typically blue — the color of nobility, is it not? — Hyacinths are quite pretty. The shades of said blue do vary quite a bit, but their manes and tails usually do not waver much from being the opposite of their hides. If their hides are very light then their manes and tails are dark blue, and if their hides are dark then their manes and tails are light. Hyacinths mate as often as any other female, and can give birth to anywhere from ten to eighteen foals, depending on any number of mysterious things.

While Hyacinths are regal and noble, Orchids are beauty and bliss. They are delicate and dainty, bright and probably nearly as insane as Zinnias. But aren't we all? All Kachir are highly intelligent, but Orchids are probably as close to silliness as you'll find; they're playful and happy creatures, almost as vibrant as Freesias. An Orchid is an incredibly charming creature, usually hyperactive and slightly erratic, but if they really set their minds to it they can be nearly as graceful as the slightly larger Hyacinths. As if accenting her personality, an Orchid's hide is commonly white, with purple and orange markings in nauseatingly bright shades. Their manes and tails tend to range between white and purple, with occasional vibrant pink or red locks thrown in for additional color. An Orchid will give birth to anywhere from five to ten foals at a time, and mates as frequently as any other.

Tied with Dahlias for being the largest of their kind, Pansies certainly act the part. While one might misconstrue their name to mean something it doesn't, and there is a perpetual cloud of worrisome nagging over why they're named Pansies if they aren't, well, pansies, these handsome ponies don't pay it much attention. Not much attention at all. They tend to be very thick-skulled when it comes to those they consider to be in their protection, and will defend them fiercely. They would rush headlong into fire, if just to save somebody! Apart from this sometimes annoying tendency, Pansies are quite lovely companions. They are happy and kind, tending to dote on those around them, and are quite happy to help with even the most mundane of tasks. Their colors vary widely, from indigo to midnight blue, grey-blue to vibrant yellow and even occasionally softer colors. They tend to dash headlong after any female who starts glowing, but never fear! Once a Pansy falls in adoration, he's hard to shake off, and they usually settle down after a while.

Probably quite opposite from their brother Pansies, Dahlias are irritable and easy to anger, brooding and quiet. They tend to be known as the most intelligent Kachir you'll find, mostly because they spend roughly eighty percent of their time in deep thought. Think about it: the other twenty percent has to be split between sleeping, eating, and occasionally sharing their knowledge with others. Tarzi forbid somebody disturb a Dahlia while he's pondering some obscure notion, for he is most wrathful with those who do. And their anger — oh, their anger! It is a ruthless force, and Dahlias aren't known for forgiveness, either. Nevertheless, occasionally a Dahlia will rise from his gloom to prove that he's just as good as any handsome Pansy, though most consider him less handsome, for his hide is usually drab and dark, spanning burned oranges all over. His mane and tail are a different matter; they're usually metallic, some bright shade of red or copper.

Ah, Gladiolus. The only common male you'll find among Kachir, they're released from the constraints put upon Dahlia and Pansies and you'll probably never find one who regrets it. They're cheerful and random, not really prone to spending hours immersed in thought. No, they'd rather go out and explore the world to see about this whole business of intelligence and such. They learn by experience and are generally world-wise creatures, though they hide it behind wit and charm. They're just as charming as a Hyacinth if not more, since they're quite capable of being not entirely truthful in the process. They aren't quite as big or bulky as the lords, but it suits them well enough. They're much brighter, anyways! Most Gladiolus are a vibrant, eye-sore shade of red, touched here or there with darker maroons. Their manes and tails are mostly a vibrant shade of orange, shot through with your occasional gold or even red sometimes. They're usually present at just about any chase they can find and are brave enough to chase after even a Hyacinth! They're still bigger, after all.

If there is one true innocent in the world, it is a Freesia. She is the kindest creature you may perhaps find, a beacon of light. Just hope that something other than sadistic cynics can make it in a world gone to rot. Childlike in many ways, Freesias float through life in a cloud of obscuring fog, not seeing the darkness in anything; they always willing to trust, to see the very best of any situation. She is completely devoted to those she loves, would throw her life away as quickly as she would breathe for any of them, without the slightest hesitation. A Freesia is a bright lilac or yellow in color, never ranging past medium purple or goldenrod and marked occasionally with pale sunshine-gold. Rather than be one or other, her mane and tail are usually a mixture of the colors of her hide. She is a tiny creature and the smallest of Kachir, a full six inches shorter than a Tiger Lily. She will bear the weight of anything asked of her without complaint. Even if she could, a Freesia wouldn't dare bring any foals into the world — perhaps, deep down, she realizes that sometimes it's kinder not to?

Tiger Lily
Tying with Dahlias for the rank of most intelligent Kachir, Tiger Lilies are quite remarkable. They are proud and won't miss an opportunity to show off their knowledge, for it can expand most copiously... but beware getting a Tiger Lily started on a subject; she'll never shut up once she's started. A Tiger Lily tends to find something that she enjoys studying early on in life, and she'll stick to that throughout her whole life — or at least until she learns all she can about it. It varies from Kachir to Kachir; beware the occasional enthusiast who decides to study the meaning of life, or anything having to do with the world outside of Planet, for she is downright dangerous. You'll never hear the end of it, for they're as persistent as can be. Their hides range in color from bright to dark orange, ticked with black spots here and there, while their manes and tails are slightly darker and tend to be reddish. If they bother to hold chases, they can give birth to one or two foals; usually twins if there are two.

Ah — as is so often the case, there's one rank of Kachir that is less than desirable. Such it is with Zinnias, who are known for their lack of sanity. Perhaps a few of them aren't dangerous, but most Zinnias you run across are quite mad. Their disorders vary, but common maladies among them are schizophrenia, paranoia, obsessive compulsive tendencies, Tourette's syndrome, anxiety, pyromania, and any amount of phobias. Many, you'll find, are a quivering mess of every single disorder you can identify, and many you can't. Some can get enough therapy to maintain a semblance of a normal life, but those who can't usually either wander off into the woods and keep themselves company for all of time, or wind up dead. They're usually drab greens and grays in hide, and dull browns in mane and tail — all the better to hide in the brush. They rarely partake in the art of chases, and perhaps that's for the better of all.